


you are a god and i am my brother's gun (it's only the face of things to come)

by jb_slasher



Category: Face/Off (1997)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, M/M, Movie Spoilers, Sibling Incest, bad research of mythology, in my version they are twins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 11:04:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8011195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jb_slasher/pseuds/jb_slasher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Everything is fine (because everything is always fine before the shit hits the fan) and then Castor tries to kill Archer. That doesn't pan out so well for them in the long run.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	you are a god and i am my brother's gun (it's only the face of things to come)

Everything is fine (because everything is always fine before the shit hits the fan) and then Castor tries to kill Archer. That doesn't pan out so well for them in the long run.

 

Pollux never fits in. Castor never fits in, either, but for Castor there is no need for conformity. Wherever Castor goes, he is the shooting star, the bright sun that everyone gravitates toward. Pollux is always the dwarf planet, orbiting the bright energy that is Castor. Where Castor is a man of action, Pollux prefers careful planning, ideas spiraling in mad circles until they suddenly make sense. _It's always the quiet ones_ , Castor tells Pollux when Pollux reveals him the details of their next endeavor but the statement is always made with fondness rather than derisiveness.

They are blood brothers, body and soul. Like their namesakes, they have so much more in store for them than simple, ordinary lives. They go through life as if they are immortal, as if nothing can touch them. As if anything they wish for is fair game, attainable by any means necessary.

 

Castor and his fucking theatrics. Pollux would find it amusing if it wasn't wasting their precious time. Even when Castor says he'd have to kill Pollux if he wasn't blood, Pollux knows this to be a sign of affection. They may both be crazy but neither of them is a fool. Keeping up appearances is what makes the world go round and round, and both of them have not lost the thread of that particular truth. And if Castor did not have Pollux, he would be all alone against the world. Even Castor knows it's better to have someone on your side, even if that someone is as useless as he deems Pollux to be. Pollux can see right through him. His twin is a complex creature but all creatures need something. Where Pollux needs Castor, Castor needs Pollux.

 

Pollux is not insecure with the opposite sex, or with people in general. He simply doesn't care about them. He only has eyes for the only person who has ever taken care of him, and as is a brother's duty, he tries his best to look after Castor.

Most of their so-called friends are assholes. It's the business, dog-eat-man, but Dietrich and Sasha are “nice,” compared to the rest of them. There's a divide here between the sets of siblings. Pollux doesn't interfere with the parties Castor throws. Dietrich goes with Castor and Sasha finds Pollux. She wants to be close to Castor just as much as Pollux does, and this is the only way Castor can't prevent it. Pollux doesn't mind because it's something they have in common: can't live with Castor, can't fucking live without him.

_All is violent, all is bright_ , it's true with Castor. A single moment can be overwhelming. Just occupying the same space with Castor, Pollux can hardly breathe. Castor, all of him, his body, his essence, his ideas, his personality... Castor Troy fills the room by himself just fine. It is with Castor that Pollux always feels the smallest, both physically and mentally. He's not sure which one of them is crazier, and in the end it doesn't even matter. What matters is that the balance is always returned when they come back to each other.

 

When he hears the rumor, he knows it's not true. If Castor were dead, Pollux would know, would most likely die on the spot, not because of any twin magic but out of loyalty, out of love, out of blood. So far, all he has is a major headache and a terrible sense of not loss but deprivation. He hasn't seen Castor in a week and his sense of self is starting to fade. Castor grounds him, perhaps more forcefully than Pollux likes. But Castor is security, stable and comforting in his mad protectiveness. Castor who always expects so much of him, yet never shows his disappointment because he made Pollux this way. Pollux doesn't blame him because Castor accepts him for all his oddity and weakness; because Castor accepts the blame as well, accepts the responsibility of what he did to Pollux.

 

On the rare nights Castor spends with him, Pollux's mind is attuned to Castor, only Castor, everything for Castor. Castor is his sense of purpose, his reason for living. Anything for Castor. It is hard to be content because Castor is everything and nothing at the same time. Pollux demands so very little, just Castor in his faulty perfection. Those moments are few and far between but when they occur, nothing would make Pollux happier. Nothing is quite like being enveloped in Castor Troy's embrace, in his ever-consuming grace. Pollux would lie in his twin's arms for all of eternity because it would mean he would be consumed by safety and love until the end of time. Only Castor himself stands in the way of such a finite idea. Castor in his madness, in his hunger, in his profound sense of self, would never succumb to such a limited existence. Pollux is merely there for his amusement, his everlasting possession. For Castor's convenience, Pollux goes on, forever waiting for another moment of equilibrium, another small moment of clarity in this mad world.

 

It isn't in any of his contingency plans because even Pollux isn't crazy enough to plan for something like this. The world is indeed crazy, the man simply trying to survive in it.

So when Archer tries to pass for Castor, Pollux can tell without a second glance that there's a discrepancy in his behavior, many in fact. Castor may be crazy but he isn't a fool. Archer's antics give him away, and Pollux, Pollux thinks he's ready for this particular face-off.

It's Castor's face that makes him doubt his basic instincts. (It's Castor's face that eventually gets him killed but that is a fate he has resigned himself to. Who else would he die for?)

Mercy gives Archer away, not taking that opportunity, stopping in the middle of an action where Castor would simply go on without a second thought. Castor is not known to be one for mercy. Mercy is weakness and therefore Pollux's territory. Then again, Pollux was practically raised by Castor. Mercy didn't even enter his vocabulary until he learned Castor was completely without it, and sort of by proxy, so was Pollux.

It's Castor's face that dooms Pollux. The praise is beyond anything that Pollux has ever yearned for. Laughing with Castor, it's so unexpected, this moment so easily given to him that it confuses him for a moment. He lets his guard down for an instant because he's happy in this moment. He forgets himself for a moment because this is Castor, it has to be, who else would it be? In retrospect, he should have known this is not in fact Castor he's speaking to, despite the knowledge of his medication. Of course Archer knows that: he wouldn't be Archer if he didn't. Yet Pollux wants to believe that face, that mouth, that voice, and all those compelling words, that charisma, that certainty that Castor (Archer) breathes into every word. This is Castor, and this isn't Castor. Pollux always needed his big brother, and that need is almost impossible to ignore. Castor planted that need, that madness, that love and loyalty. (All of it is going to bring them down.) The irony, really, is that this conversation is not that different from most of their conversing. Castor is self-centered and vulgar (which sometimes amuses Pollux), only complimenting Pollux when he needs something from his little brother, in the very next breath mocking Pollux for offering something so easily, so willfully. As if Pollux ever really had a choice when it came to Castor.

The irony of two mortal enemies being so similar.

 

Castor has relations with both men and women but he always looks out for Pollux. Pollux is always the most important because he's blood. It isn't about family because they never had family outside of each other. Since birth (no, since _conception_ ) it's been just the two of them, for whatever reason, and it has fused them together, inseparable in infinity. It's the bond they share, having spent their very first moments in existence together, Castor growing bigger, robbing his twin's nutrition, condemning Pollux to a life of servitude, perhaps in his greed planting that mad seed of genius in his twin so that Pollux would be of some use to him. It is that madness that prevents Pollux from ever leaving. There is no grudge between them because while it is plain to Castor that Pollux will always be there for him, it is also obvious, clear as day and just as irreversible, that he will always love Pollux (in his own consuming way, just like in the beginning) and nothing is more important, more urgent than keeping Pollux safe and unharmed.

 

The slip is neither here nor there. In no time, the real Castor gets him out of Erewhon, gets him back to their regularly scheduled program of Pollux aiding Castor where Castor needs him. Pollux once again assumes his rightful place in Castor's orbit, in the shadow of the blinding sun.

Pollux misses Castor's face. This is Castor, pure and complex and fun, without his face, without his voice but those are Castor's words coming out of this mortal enemy's mouth. Pollux accepts that the world has gone mad, and his sanity (however little there was to begin with) is getting increasingly hard to maintain. By trusting this Castor without his face and voice, is he trying to stay sane or letting himself go mad with the rest of the world?

Pollux misses Castor's voice, misses hearing that voice saying his name. He hates it when Castor calls him “bro,” fuck appearances, “call me _fucking_ Pollux, brother.” That earns him a rough night, and he enjoys it while it lasts. After all, Pollux is Castor's, marked and molded, shaped to his brother's preferences, bent to his brother's will. “Cut the bullshit and fuck me.” The only time Castor takes orders from Pollux is when they are in bed.

 

When Castor finally has some real resources, digging out and unleashing any and every little contact the Bureau has, he only has eyes for Archer. While Castor is busy being consumed by his manhunt, Pollux fades into the background and does what he does best. Pollux ponders quietly by himself, makes a plan to seek out their nemesis and bring him to Castor, or Castor to him, whichever is more pertinent to the situation. This is a contingency he can plan for, unlike the previous betrayal of his base desire to believe an impostor to be his twin. Castor's security detail follows Pollux everywhere he goes but in spite of them he doesn't feel safe. He knows Castor is distracted, knows his twin is on a different, dangerous wavelength, and he needs Castor, even when Castor has cast him aside, even for this moment of unknown duration.

Paranoid sociopath, and he fell for a doppelganger. Such is his need for Castor.

It's the voice Pollux can't shake. The words are Castor's but the voice breathing in his ear isn't. “Bro, relax already,” the voice tells him but Pollux can't. The world is crazy because he spent six years running from that voice, and now he's just supposed to succumb to its will. He watches Castor's real face, wishing the world made sense once more so he could be there with Castor.

 

When it happens, it's hardly a surprise. It's just like the movies, the bad guy getting his due.

It's Castor's face that is their downfall. So poetic, so fucking ironic. When he climbs after Archer, he almost believes he's following Castor. But as he falls, he knows Castor is the one who kills him. Castor who couldn't leave well enough alone. Castor who always wanted the world when all Pollux ever truly wanted was Castor. Forever entwined their fates are, no point in trying to fight destiny. Yet Castor tries, loses his way and loses Pollux as a result.

They may be mad but fools they are not.

How wrong Pollux was in thinking that.

Maybe in the next life he'll find Castor, and the world will go mad again, spinning off its axis, Castor Troy orbited by the universe and Pollux with it, the dark dwarf planet, wanting to bask in the light of the scorching sun.


End file.
